Tuesday, March 31, 2015

March 31, 2015

Even worse with the Mexican preacher next-door. Because I lost my phone, I missed my appointment with podiatric surgeon Dr. Wolpa yesterday. I thought the appointment was at three with the ear doctor, so I went there, and it wasn't, so I figured that it must've been with Dr. Wolpa. I had it all written down in my phone, which I usually check.

I had to see Dr. Wolpa to get my toenail trimmed, to get a $15 tube of Bio-Freeze to replace one which was stolen here, and to show them my new insurance. I got to Dr. Wolpa's in time, but there wasn't enough money in the Alta Bates Hospital ATM to buy the Bio-Freeze, so I didn't go—I'll have to reschedule later. And having my toenail trimmed is urgent—that's how the toenail that the Dougherty's ripped off got ingrown, infected, and turned into a diabetic ulcer. So it's potentially life-threatening, because 50% of amputees die in 5 years.

And then he woke me up this morning playing his TV loud, so I stayed in bed all day, and when I did get up, I found he'd stolen the $20 tube of "Kerasal NeuroCream Pain Relieving Foot Cream" that my sister bought me with her credit card last week at the Rite Aid on the corner of 14th and Broadway. He's been stalking me a month, and been keeping me awake every night, to steal a $20 tube of diabetic foot cream! The one before, who also made me lose a phone and get my GA cut off until now, was also Mexican and here about 2 months, with his girlfriend and her kid, stole a $15 black and white baseball cap she bought me at Nordstrom's Rack, a nice hat, right when it was brand-new. As their "tithes and offerings" I guess, or "corn". I say stolen property that they owe me twice for, since I got saved in 1971, 45 years ago, and I'm not recommitting or rededicating over and over again. As I say, I was almost ordained but they closed Mountain Heights Bible College just before we were to graduate. Lev. 22 explains just what is a "thief in the night". That's the one who deserves capital punishment, day pays double restitution. Before you get to "devouring widows' houses" and "ravening wolves in sheeps' clothing" or "lying in wait". They're no holier than I am, and a lot less.

So I lost the phone, missed the doctor's appointment, and now he stole the diabetic foot cream. And one of the things I was going to the doctor for was to replace the $15 Bio-Freeze the other homeless preacher stole. I need it for where the other preachers beat me into almost having an amputation stealing the new $50 watch with temperature gauge and compass my sister bought me online. I also had three other jars of that kind of foot cream, of different brands, all for about $20 from Rite-Aid, stolen by these hoods, it must be hot with their church gang fences. It's like the Holocaust movies. This guy told me he believes in killing all disabled people, and all with eyeglasses. I need to "accept" that, and let him rob and kill me, like the Jews at Auschwitz! Never again!

The staff still won't tell me his name, but the desk guy says he's moving out the day after tomorrow. I'll believe it when I see it. I lost the phone when the elevator man said he was going to talk to him, and he didn't. I told him I was going to go to the police station and make a police report about the foot cream, since you can't do it online if you have a suspect, except he won't tell me his name. Claims he has a plan to murder all the disabled people, even with eyeglasses, or get them to commit suicide, I guess, or elderly, if they'll just become his disciples and follow him, like Jim Jones, David Koresh, or Tony Alamo. I told him, "Why should I? Dr. Noble said, 'Your numbers are good.' Why don't you homeless Mexicans kill yourselves? I went to Yale, Class of '71, Pierson College. My grandparents were born in America. My sister worked in the Bush 41 White House for 12 years, and my mom worked in San Francisco City Hall, was on the School Board, and the Human Rights Commission, taco loco!"

Saturday, March 28, 2015

March 28, 2015


 

What a terrible day! The evil, Mexican dickhead preacher next-door woke me up playing his TV too loud. He'll never turn it down when I ask him. Last night he told me that he believed that disabled people should be killed, and people with eyeglasses. I told him I didn't believe that, that I wasn't going to commit suicide, and that that was why I wasn't a Christian.

I asked the people at the desk his name, and they asked me why. I told them I was going to file a restraining order, so that when I called the police maybe they would arrest him. The elevator man told me he would talk to him, but when I came back he turned on the TV loud again and wouldn't turn it down, so I went out again.

I lost my phone, for the second time, in the same place I lost the first one. I lost the first one because the guy who used to live next door before him used to do the same thing, and it had the same effect on me. On the restraining order website it calls stalking the same as assault and battery, unlawful violence, and it says emotional distress and mental anguish. He's playing it now, as I write this. Maybe he's an illegal alien. If I get the restraining order, he won't be able to get a green card, buy a gun, and he'll have to surrender any guns he has.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Those Dirty Preachers Made This One Of The Worst Days Of My Life

First, this morning, this crazy Mexican asshole next door wakes me up with a few hours sleep preaching with his loud TV and won't let me go back to sleep. Sleep deprivation-torture is fundamental to all religious cults. There was a guy just like him, a couple, also Mexican, with a kid, in there for a month or two just now, who apparently had found me on the Internet. Like the guy on TV said, stalking, home invasion burglary, and registered sex offenders. They made me lose my GA and food stamps, which I may not get back, and because of those, I broke my smartphone, and I haven't gotten the new one yet, and because of that, I'll probably lose the $23,000 financial aid I was expecting from Humboldt State University in the Fall. So for all that work torturing me, not only they didn't get a dime, I doubt they stole very much breaking and entering from what's been left by the other criminally insane preachers picking over and going through my stuff, I'm further from the flock than I ever was, and whatever disposable income I might have had to donate to them they destroyed themselves, almost Biblical in itself. My grampa's whole family, 20 or 30, was killed in the Holocaust in Poland, and it seems like the exact same thing could happen to me in America, my native country, and my other grampa's native country. All because of the Christian Church, the Religious Right.

And I once was a Christian, from 1971-5, in fact I was almost ordained as a neo-Pentecostal minister in the Open Bible Church, in the Mountain Heights Bible College in Lighthouse Temple in Colorado Springs, Pastors R.G. and Laverne Dunbar, a music minister, but they closed the bible college just before we were supposed to be ordained. I was supposed to have all 5 gifts of the Spirit, all 9 fruits, and all 5 ministries (I heard it's now 3). I was supposed to marry Stephanie Winters, but her mother committed her to Pueblo State Hospital for 2 weeks because she was a non-believer, she didn't want her going to that church, and she didn't want her to marry me. Then my parents came out and committed me to Belmont Psychiatric Center. I asked Wavy Gravy's wife to save me, but she said, "Your parents and their psychiatrists are right, do what they say," so I did.

They put me in the locked ward with a man who had tried to cut his penis off because it offended him, a woman who had jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and lived, and a girl who drank too much at a high school party. When I first got saved at Church of the Open Door (Exodus) in San Rafael, they put me in the mental hospital at Ross General Hospital with a guy who'd just come from the same church and a guy the psych nurse pointed out carried his Bible in the same hand on which there were scars from slitting his wrists. That was the first time I heard that psychiatric atheist analysis of religion which I heard from mental health professionals many times; it was standard for years.

Psychiatrist Dr. Caulfield at Belmont Psychiatric Center told me the same thing. He said my parents had put me there because I went to Lighthouse Temple. He said that anybody who was a member was mentally ill and could be committed. Years later, psychiatrist Dr. Lisa Fine told me the same thing, that the members of Lighthouse Temple were mentally ill and that she could commit any of them if they just showed up in her office. Dr. Caulfield wanted to know if I had invented those church ideas myself; they were so unfamiliar and unusual to his class in 1976, they were considered a remote fringe of society. I told him, no, they had taught me all of those ideas in church. He said that meant I wasn't as sick if they had taught them to me as if I were if they were delusions of my own I had made up myself. I was absolutely the only Christian around, with the exception of the poor guy who tried to cut his penis off. The consensus was that they had saved his life and he needed to be there.

Dr. Caulfield said if I wanted to get better and get out, I would have to give up these bizarre ideas, of which I was virtually the only one who had even heard of anything like them. Even the pastor at the place where I got saved, which was Baptist, Kent Philpott, said Lighthouse Temple was "like something from the wild blue yonder", couldn't even really understand it, silenced me, and forbade me to talk about it anymore to people at his places. Caulfield said if I gave up Christianity, he would let me go, that's how they used to do therapy. The other shrink, Dr. Alfred Auerbach, was trying to keep me for 10 years at some kind of "ranch" facility. At Belmont Hills, and virtually everywhere in the Bay Area at that time, everybody was either gay, or acting gay. As soon as I gave up Christianity and had sex with another male patient, true to his word, they let me go. My brother almost took me to the Grateful Dead show in Egypt at the Pyramids and to his Osho ashram in India, but I went back to New Mexico and Jeff Kline rented me one of his houses between Santa Fe and Taos, got my dad to send me $5000, and got me to buy his friend's Toyota pickup. Not one person out there was a Christian, until I got back to Berkeley, Stacy Samuels, Wavy Gravy's right-hand-man's, wife, Charlotte, was a Christian and played piano in the local Church of God in Christ.

They sent me back to UCI with $100,000/yr., living in the on-campus graduate student housing, and I got into the Information and Computer Science Major. In the whole process of being committed and backsliding I'd picked up a chronic STD which I thought affected my memory which they called a learning disability, and with the bad grades I ended up after two years at Cal State Bakersfield. I went to a Grateful Dead show at the Oakland Coliseum, and I took Mikey Katz, who had a backstage pass. Later he took me up to Camp Winnarainbow and suggested I go to Adult Camp. On the last day they had this Jewish prayer, the first time I'd thought about Judaism in a long time. So at my parents house, with nothing to do on a Friday night, my mother and I went to Sabbath services. I was watching them introducing the upcoming married couples, and maybe it reminded me of the Lighthouse Temple marriages, but I had this bright idea that when I got back to Bakersfield, I would go down to L.A. where Rabbi Meyer Heller, who had Bar-Mitzvahed me at Temple Emanuel in San Francisco in 1962 (I also got the Rabbi's Honor Cup), was Head Rabbi of Temple Emanuel in Beverly Hills, see if they had a singles' dance, and maybe I could get married there like my sister and brother-in-law had a fancy wedding in Temple Emanu-el in San Francisco. Maybe I didn't realize that when Joan and Jonathan got married, he was already working as a professor at USC, not still a student. Also, the last thing Pastor Dunbar had ever said to me was, "Go back to your parents' religion, to your parents' church or synagogue." Maybe that was while they were getting him to help them commit me for praying too much. So I was thinking about religion somewhat.

So I met Laurie Senit at the singles dance at Stephen S. Wise Temple, near my sister's house in Bel-Air, and she moved in to Bakersfield. She was very anti-Christian, at first, "How could you have been a Nazi? They killed 6,000,000 of your own people!" "I didn't know!" "You should have known!" "They keep that part secret at first!"

She was on a crusade to show me my folly. She took me to the Simon Wiesenthal, the Nazi hunter, Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles, where they have a little light for each Nazi hate group in the United States. She couldn't believe that as a member of Lighthouse Temple, I had been an active member of half of them, like Aryan Nations, White Aryan Resistance (WAR), Christian Identity, British-Israelism (Armstrongism), Posse Commitatus, American Nazi Party (George Lincoln Rockwell), Ku Klux Klan, John Birch Society—that's the majority of them, true confessions. I got very far into those groups for a Jew, if that's any kind of achievement, which it wasn't to her at that time. That's one of the main reasons why we broke up. I still think she's right. Not only do most of these groups preach just plain anti-Semitism, but Jewish exterminationalism, which often includes the Jewish Christian conversos, if you look it up. They must be wrong.

We saw a poster for a movie about a "Jewish Nazi"—a Jew who joined the Nazi Party. Laurie pointed to the picture of the actor and said, "That's you!" We watched The Pianist together. She was really interested in making me adopt the strong beliefs of her own about Judaism and the Holocaust. Of course, I hoped just as much she would like the music I did and want to go with me to see the musicians play, etc. That's probably more or less normal in relationships. It was probably enhanced by the fact that her brother Steve married Janice, whose father, they say, converted the whole family, including her mother and father, to Chabad, the large Orthodox Jewish group. Later they had me and Laurie working at the UCLA Chabad. He, Janice, and Steve may have been working on Laurie longer than I knew. Chabad, of course, are fundamentalist (Hasidic, haredi) Jews, and I eventually had to seriously think about, and reject that, another big reason we broke up. No matter how it sounds, it's still a cult, lots of people know, and say.

Laurie had to go to a psychiatrist, so I guess my parents and sister wanted me to go to Dr. Lisa Fine. The first thing she said was that I was there for being a Christian, the same as Dr. Caulfield had said 20 years before. Her phone number was 310-966-6500. But I wasn't a Christian. Maybe my family was confused by the Senits' Chabad, I don't know. I was considering going to some kind of class or something at a local Lutheran church or something near Laurie's mother's house. I'd driven by maybe, but I don't think I'd been yet. Dr. Fine said exactly what Dr. Caulfield had said, the shrinks at Ross General, and also psychiatrist Dr. Richard Shadoan at UCSF-Mt. Zion in San Francisco. She said that fundamentalist Christianity caused mental illness, that it was psychogenic. This would have been around 1998. She said that all of the patients there, at Edelman Center, L.A. County Mental Health Dept., Sepulveda and Olympic, were there because their problem was caused by fundamentalist Christianity. She said do not go to church, don't associate with any Christians, don't read about it, don't watch it on TV, don't let me catch you, don't think about it, it's mental illness, any and all forms of it. Never let me catch you with a Bible or quoting the Bible. I might increase your psych med dosage, commit you, put you in a padded cell in a straitjacket, give you shock treatments, who knows what else. Once I was talking to her and on a completely non-religious subject and I just popped out with the expression from the Bible "believe a lie", and she took out her psych notes and wrote it down in my record, that I had just quoted the Bible, and it was a symptom. I said, "I wasn't talking about religion, that's just an expression from the Bible that applies to life in general," but she wouldn't cross it out; I had done something wrong. I think I was referring to politics or something. Any reference to fundamentalist Christianity was a symptom that could get you in trouble. The nurses would do that too, if they overheard you mentioning Christian topics, they would warn you. That was what got you there, and if you stopped, you were getting better.

I've also seen that same theory in some psychiatric textbooks that I've read, about case histories of Christians who flip out and get committed. A lot of times those guys end up attempting suicide in the mental hospital. Now my sister taking me to Dr. Fine is strange, because she was Founding Chairman of the Barbara Bush Campaign For Family Literacy (me at UCI) and Asst. Chief-of-Staff to Vice-President H.W. Bush in the Ronald Reagan White House. Neither Reagan or Bush 41 were that religious, as religious zealotry goes, but more moderate. While I was seeing Dr. Fine, 43 got elected, and he's religious. Especially the kind where he has to convince you.

Before 43 really got in motion to convert everybody, I think maybe Dr. Fine was still a liberal and opposed him and his religion, and taught me to keep doing that. When I went to Lighthouse, we weren't allowed to ever see a doctor, just faith healers. Elder Rachel Moulton, with a new car and house, died at 42 of cancer, which couldn't happen if you had a yearly checkup. One of the reasons I got committed is I didn't get a yearly checkup with the free health insurance from University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, where Pastor Dunbar's own children graduated. Then when I did backslide, I hadn't had sex for 3 years, didn't know how, caught a STD, didn't know how to go to a doctor, didn't have one, and it became chronic; I think that is why I have a bad memory. I don't believe that there has ever been a faith healing documented by a doctor, or any miracles for that matter. The atheism (non-existence of God or gods, deity or deities) has stuck with me from the psychiatrists' treatment for 45 years. If God existed, and was All-Powerful, couldn't He break through the opinions of some puny doctors, scientists, professionals, whatever you want to call them? Just one little, tiny, simple miracle, among all the fraudulent ones? It's just the sunshine, or the creation of the mass media and televangelists. I went to Yale and I could have been a doctor.

There was a guy in our church from the Army base at Fort Carson, who made a big deal running around the church waving his back brace saying, "I'm healed!" He told me later he put it back on 3 months later because nothing really happened. The same thing happened to when the faith healer caught me polishing my glasses and said he'd "healed my eyes". Bob made me buy new ones in a few months because nothing changed. 20/200 is not that bad, anyway. It's all a hoax, in my opinion. And I got to perform a "faith healing" myself once. Big privilege, if it doesn't work anyway. Con the poor people out of their medical money. "To die is gain" anyway. "The Emperor has no clothes!"="The healing didn't work!"

So I was driving around, got a chest pain, once before in New Mexico where my friend was Director of Taos County Ambulances I took my Blue Cross to the ER for chest pains, I did again, and I got referred to a cardiologist near this urgent care I went to sometimes. He wanted to do emergency heart surgery, an angiogram and angioplasty, and Vice-President Cheney had his first heart surgery the same week, and now has an artificial heart. My sister claims there is no possible connection. At first that's what I thought, then I thought Cheney was encouraging me. Then I thought that he and 43 were in a church that either didn't believe in cardiology, all medicine, all science and technology(as Lighthouse Temple didn't), or just that they were afraid of my cardiologist sending them a bill. I read 41 said that to another employee. I don't know how he could have financial problems.

Then the primary care, Dr. Mark Grossman, from UCLA-Santa Monica, gave me nitroglycerin, and I took some when I was out with Laurie. They did a second angioplasty and angiogram and found diabetes from Risperdal as the cause of the coronary artery disease. I threw away the Avandia in the hospital rather than struggle with this other patient for an unknown reason. My brother-in-law kept my car. 9-11 happened. I was never really presented with this whole Christian thing the way lots of people must have. I kept seeing Dr. Fine and she never changed. I went to see some friends who talked me into seeing Phil Lesh and Friends and Ratdog when they came to town—no Jesus talk. I told Dr. Fine I was going to the Rainbow Gathering in Park City West Utah with Doug McAfee the head of Bakersfield NORML like I did every year, and that was fine.

Laurie did take me to the Vineyard Church on the corner, but that wasn't for me. Maybe it has to do with having a car. Also she took me to the Self-Help and Recovery Exchange where they had this dual diagnosis, mental health and AA, NA stuff. I was trying to get over the side effects of a psych med so that wasn't interesting, either. From what I know now, I am not, nor have I ever been, anything close to a drug addict, substance abuser, nor have any of my friends. That is just a totally distorted idea of the Grateful Dead scene. Anybody who thinks that and claims to be a so-called "expert" is a dangerous quack. And as typical of these guys, they're not really talking about me using drugs, they're talking about drugs my friends use. My friends using drugs is none of my business, something I don't really know about, and, even if I did, is not something I am willing to talk about, or have anybody ask me about. They never found any drugs, so there is no evidence, except they wanted my money. I am suing every single one of them for the max. Lots of good people died, hard-working grandparents. No cops, arrests, trials, convictions, sentences, etc. And they never told me they were after me for drugs, or not to take drugs.

I came back from the Rainbow Gathering, then I got fired from Chabad, then I decided to rent a car and drive up to Washington, hoping Laurie would come up later. I have some friends up there. I just thought it would be healthier out of the city. They had these guys from the Life Adjustment Team, probably a drug rehab, come over, and they made me move into my apartment a few blocks away, and I had no TV, like in Laurie's apartment. She had one she wanted me to have; I just didn't want to waste time on it with my computer. In those days, the summer of 2003, maybe there was lots of important information on TV, which for years with Laurie's Comcast, I just took for granted.

With all that, I got real sick, didn't care for the diabetes properly, and got a diabetic neuropathy. I was supposed to go to a neurologist and endocrinologist, but they interfered for a long time. They screwed with the money for the heart meds, I had to go to the emergency room in an ambulance, and President Bush appointed an anti-LGBT cardiologist Surgeon-General the same day I went to the cardiologist who did the first angioplasty and angiogram for a holter for heart palpitations caused by missing Toprol XL for 2 days, which has a warning for myocardial infarction, heart attack. The holter said they were good, not bad, palpitations. The LAT and their psychiatrist, Dr. Bill Stubbeman, had been encouraging me to go to the gay church in West Hollywood, the Metropolitan Community Church, and the gay synagogue, Beth Chayyim Chassidim, because I didn't know they were after me about drugs—I thought maybe they were after me like they were when I was in the church, about being straight, living with Laurie, instead of being gay. Joan and Jonathan pretended they were gay. Joan was on the Board of Directors of the Jonas Salk Foundation, trying to find the cure for AIDS. Salk had invented the polio vaccine. Now of course I understand that means that that is what they are exactly against, but I really thought they were gay recruiters, they are so deceptive. They'd told me once they'd voted for Clinton, against their own boss, and I'd believed them. I voted for Clinton because Jerry Garcia endorsed him and I wanted to stay friends. Then, not to mention the MCC theology, which is a whole other thing.

Also, about drugs, when Joan first asked me to find a psychiatrist, before they picked Dr.Fine, I picked Dr. Robert Newport, referred to me by Bruce Eisner from Island Institute I found on the Internet. I went to this MAPS conference at Chapman College. Bruce Eisner knew Timothy Leary, Albert Hoffman, Ram Dass—all the psychedelic heavies. He referred me to this psychedelic psychiatrist in Santa Cruz and L.A. My family took his license and Eisner emailed me that he closed his business and moved in with his mother in Las Vegas. Now the Internet says that he died there of gastrointestinal disease. Dr. Newport said, "I'm not a psychiatrist anymore, I'm a painter. Has your sister let up on you yet?" He never gave me any LSD (legally); we never got to that part. Maybe that's why the whole drug treatment bullshit, not just Dead shows.

So they took what was then my $60,000/yr. except for meds, medical bills, Blue Cross PPO, and SSI, and I had to stay in Brentwood Manor board-and-care home for 2 years and I didn't know why. As far as I knew, it was for being a Christian, as well as anything else, like she told me. My dad wrote me out of the will, and he had told me before, when I was a Christian, that Orthodox Jews used to have a Christian son's funeral, call him a renegade,disown him, and he disowned me. And as far as I knew, that religion, or any religious cult, or any other insane behavior, would give them further grounds for committing me more. I had no car or TV that whole time. If I got put in there for not being a Christian, whereas before it was for being one, well, I've heard that psychiatrists will try to get you for whatever you're doing, to get the insurance money. The first time my family was trying to get a conservatorship to keep me from giving money to the church in tithes. I used to give 10% in tithes, and another 10% a month in offerings. My dad told me to stop, I wouldn't, I told him to keep the money, and he committed me.

So I don't want to do it any more. I was telling the elevator man about atheism, and he didn't hear a word I said. It was just like when I was telling that Baptist minister about the Pentecostals it was a combination of not even trying to understand, he was incapable of understanding, I was just wrong, and I didn't even know, Yale or not. Arab bellboys know better. Just last night I was listening on the Internet to the Freedom From Religion Foundation with Dan Barker, who was an Assemblies of God evangelist for 19 years, and became an atheist from Bible study. They do lawsuits for 1st Amendment church-state separation, and they just won one in Wisconsin to allow an atheist table next to the prayer table in a city hall. They take down nativity scenes and ten commandments in city halls, try to take "God" out of the pledge and the money, etc.

So the black bums on the corner got mad at my blasphemies, and two of them came up, and one goes, "You called me a nigger!" And I said, "That's right! You are a nigger! So what!" So his move was to pretend he was going to kill me right then and there. They started coming at me , so I started screaming and ran out in the street, screaming as loud as I could, at the top of my lungs, "Help, police! Bloody murder!" I didn't want them to get to me and hurt my foot, which is infected with a diabetic ulcer, and that's the first thing bullies notice.It's an injury by a robbery by another gang of preachers, and it is very painful when struck; I might need an ambulance anyway. And it would be harder to keep running away. I must have made quite a disturbance. I read that seniors yelling for help often is the exact difference between life and death. Two huge black guys.

They kept coming, which is unusual. I thought I would lose him. I found out later, these same black guys had chased me a whole block yesterday, that's when I called him a nigger. I was hoping he'd go away, leave me alone, not beat me, not hurt me, to look like I wasn't afraid, and to sound like a Southern white preacher. He was going to beat me up for this newsletter I was reading, walking, from a Baptist preacher named Sam Nadler, Word of Messiah Fellowship, Hope of Israel Messianic Jewish Congregation in Charlotte, NC, his own ministry. Beats me! I didn't say a word or even look at them, he was just coming for me for reading this, like it was the Satanic Bible, walking past him, 2 of them. Maybe he thought it was regular Jewish and it was an anti-Semitic hate crime, anti-Semitic Jew-beating. I used to know Sam in San Francisco before he met Moishe Rosen from the Jews For Jesus.

I ran across the street to the armed Chase Bank guard, but he was gone for the day. Then I ran down to T-Mobile, where I was going, inside, and hid behind the plate glass window, and they turned around and walked away, my desired outcome. Two of the motherfuckers. They were really believable, in the way they looked like they were going to beat me. Probably an attempted robbery. Rarely will those hoods follow you across the street, or for 10 or 20 minutes, like them, but they're probably emboldened by some new event I don't know, not just by being two young linemen jumping an old cripple trying to get something off him, maybe injure him, send him to the hospital, and rip off his health insurance card. I really feared for my life both times. I'm not going to detail my medical conditions, but I avoid stress, fighters, violence, violent, crazy people, so I guess the baddies come looking for me like a treasure, target me like hunters do game. Even today, some other ones of their type were laughing at me when I discovered I need to charge my stun gun. That's how they think. Gangsters are no angels-prisons are too good for those scum, and so is solitary and the hole. I wish I was young again so I could try to be a cop and go out and catch these bastards and lock 'em up. I lived with Laurie for 15 years.

So he followed and stalked me for a day, and here he was tonight, jumped me. I ran into the Zumba dance, and back out, he was still there. Then the guy came from the Mad Café and tried to break it up. I said, "There's two of them, big young black kids. I'm a 65-year old disabled man. I live right there and I was just talking to the elevator man, not to them, about atheism. They're trying to kill me!" I just said I had two heart surgeries, take 5 heart meds, and any stress could easily trigger a fatal heart attack. If you think someone is going to hit you it is assault. I thought he was going to shoot me. The people there didn't know the context about yesterday, and that there is an argument about religion, an attempted religious murder, a witch-burning, a cross-burning, a lynching, a hate crime. I asked the man his name, but he refused. I asked the Zumba employee, "Ask him his name, take his picture! Call the police!" The Zumba waiter said, "The whole thing's on the store video camera." They had stalked me for three businesses. They came at me again and I screamed again. I'm still terrorized. The federal police across the street at the federal building appeared, probably in response to the screams of, "Help, police!", works every time, but pretending, I guess because of the atheist business, or I need to wash my clothes. I went over there in case the assailants had guns, thinking I'd be safe there, but the feds said, "You're on federal property."

So I just went in and got my food out of the microwave, and they came in and started up again, emboldened by the 2 armed guards taking the 2 big bullies' side against the helpless little old man they were working over, "You called me a nigger!" They're relentless, like biting dogs. I said, "I was trying to make you go away." I figured out that it was Sam's Baptist paper that incited the man, and the atheist speech. Then he blocked me from the elevator. It doesn't matter to them that I have no cable TV, and that is absolute proof that they are all completely wrong. I have no TV and I went to Yale, so the Crips can shoot me now. That is Christian "justice" explained, in a nutshell. Not only, they don't/won't listen. Lots of them are killers, and liars. Oh yeah, I told the guy while I was trying to get past him into the elevator about how I ran across the street yesterday looking for the bank guard and he said, "You're lying," so I kept on about running into the T-Mobile where I was going, and I know the salesperson, so I can prove it, and he walked away, got in the elevator, and they left without me. Maybe they were just trying to steal the chicken TV dinner cooking in the microwave by intimidation and threats, a common gang tactic. They were going to beat me now, maybe kill me, as far as I knew, maybe hospitalize me, for calling them niggers yesterday. You're a big sinner if you have something they want they can steal. I was not lying, that is exactly what they did. I say they are murderers. What else do they want? Jew blood. The hotel lady came up and said don't hang out in the lobby. I said he's blocking the elevator and she walked away. Look at the works of their spiritual "fathers", Himmler, Eichmann, Hitler, Mengele in the Holocaust documentaries—that's what Jesus is gonna show 'em when the books are opened.

I don't obey that bullshit. I used to and I got screwed. I do what I want. To obey that is illegal. The violence of the true believers proves they're wrong. Hitler and Satan say, "Might makes right," God says, "Right makes right." There is no heinous atrocity, no crime, beneath the Nazi-Christian, there is none righteous. "If Hitler told me to kill my own mother for Germany, I would do it," said a high-ranking Nazi officer. And, to top it off, they're proud of it, brag about their crimes, proud of getting away with murder. Nazism is "evil for its own sake". What do the fruits have to be, if you believe anything at all? "The wages of sin is death!" And they lost World War II totally anyway, destroyed themselves with their evil hyper-violence, Dresden and Berlin were fire-bombed back to the Stone Age, Germany was divided into East and West, and Stalin put up the Berlin Wall near where Hitler committed suicide before they could catch him and mutilate his body like what the Italian partisans did to Fascist dictator Mussolini. And Hitler had signed a Concordat with Pope Pius XII.

If it says, "Thou shalt not kill," and you kill, you're a killer, and you're wrong. If you kill, society has a right to punish you. The great St. Street Bully. Bullies are, in that framework, devils. Not too meek and lamblike. They don't have the authority to go around punishing sinners. Dirty black street thugs, bums, hoods, and goons do not have the authority to go around punishing sinners in public in bookstores, movie theaters, restaurants, etc., looting and shooting, raping white girls. The German Nazis went around shooting Jews, that's the same thing. 20 years ago these same types walked around pulling guns and robbing the students. It doesn't matter what their demagogue leaders say, they're murderers too. If I have no TV, I didn't even hear the pronunciamento, they didn't even tell me, they just attacked me violently for the innocent shirt color, they are wrong and evil, too! Fuck yourself. They don't have to lift a finger to tell you anything, get you a TV, or listen to anything. They just have to pull the trigger of the Luger. The TV isn't God! It's a lie, if I don't get one, and I went to Yale, and my sister worked for Bush 43, the whole operation's a dirty scam. It's attempted capital murder, death penalty.